Don't wear lawn ornaments in sweater form. That's the simple but timeless message offered by this sweater expose in Wednesday's USA Today. Check it out on page 3 of today's Life section. I'm glad that the nation's media finally recognize me as the undisputed authority on bad sweaterdom. And while we're on the topic, that $310 taupe snowflake cardigan they recommend looks "cool"? Are you sure? From where I'm sitting, it looks someone did potato stamp art on my mom's dirty bathrobe. I wouldn't buy that, even with a 15 percent discount. Read The Story on the left if you want to know more.